dream on

I think many people are sensitive to discussing and sharing their dreams with other people. I'm not talking about "sleep" dreams; I mean "goal" dreams. A dream, in this respect, is essentially an extension of a person's identity. And as it should - what else defines us better than what we want to accomplish in life? What could possibly say more about you than what you want to do with your life?

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself," the alchemist replies. "And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."

--Paulo Coehlo, The Alchemist

When framed as such, it's not hard to see why people don't like talking about their dreams. They might seem silly to other people - becoming a doctor and becoming a chef are two completely different things, with different values attributed to each. It doesn't help that society as a whole accepts the direct correlation between monetary value and personal value. So even if you want to become a chef, the populace isn't going to see it as worthy or as lofty a goal as becoming a doctor. A dream is important to you, and you only. But if something gets in the way of that fact, it's easy to become discouraged, and set on a path that takes you to a more socially acceptable and relevant calling.

It's no wonder, then, that people don't like talking about their dreams. Who would open themselves to the prospect of such injury?

"In his pursuit of the dream, he was being constantly subjected to tests of his persistence and courage. So he could not be hasty, nor impatient. If he pushed forward impulsively, he would fail to see the signs and omens left by God along his path."

--Paulo Coehlo, The Alchemist

Following one's dream requires a strength of resolve that I am only beginning to grasp. I want to become a writer; I want to write books for a living. I can't imagine just how far I am from my goal, but I do know that it is something I want. No matter how far I get, I know that anything I do will be more productive than all those other people who refuse to act on their own dreams, or worse yet, have no dreams at all. I will not become one of those people.

"Each year that passes rings you inwardly with memory and might. Wield your heart, and the world will tremble."

--Doran, the Siege Tower

This desire, fleeting as it may prove to be, defines me. No, I don't want to be a doctor, and no, I don't want to be a banker. I want to write. I believe I can shake the earth with my words. But it's up to me to prove that.

Conviction is one of the most empowering feelings you can have: it's the notion that you can do anything, simply because you believe so.

When you know that you were born to do something, and that nothing can stop you, what is stopping you?

Magic: Cast Through Time

About a year ago I got back into Magic. For those of you born after 1995, Magic: The Gathering is a trading card game that will brand you as a nerd if you are ever seen playing it. It's like a mix of chess, poker and dragons.

Thus, it is quite awesome.

I started playing Magic in Grade 5, over a decade ago. I was hooked by the cool artwork and the collectibility of the cards. I had collected X-Men cards and Spider-Man comics even earlier in my life, but you couldn't play a game with those!

I loved the game. I kept playing and collecting Magic until Grade 8, took a short break and came back to it in high school. Then I dropped it once I went to university...because I wanted to start over. Back then, I was almost ashamed of who I was: this little Asian kid with big glasses who was almost unbearably awkward. I didn't like where I felt like I was headed. I wanted to be someone else. I wanted a new beginning...of sorts. But that's another story for another time.

So I quit. I sold or gave away all my cards, swearing never to let a game take over my life again.

Fast forward about six or seven years to June 2009. A lot has happened. I see on Facebook that Miles, an old friend, has been playing competitive Magic for the past few years - which I thought weird, firstly because he had never played in middle school, and secondly, Magic is still alive? I see a new Magic set is coming out, and I'm getting all hyped up about the cool art and memories from years past. Miles encourages me to pick up a booster box (well, it was my idea but he reinforced it), and the rest is history.

I've been playing quasi-competitive Magic for the past 10 months now. I've completely evolved as a player, I've garnered a fairly respectable collection (from scratch!), and I'm embracing the hobby again. I've met a lot of players who are really cool people. I love the game, but it hasn't consumed me like it did when I was younger. I can enjoy it now, carefree, because I'm older, more mature, making my own money and all that.

It's cool if non-gamer friends don't really understand it, but Magic at a truly high competitive level is something that people aren't exposed to, and that's a shame. I think if people realized the similarities between Magic and poker, Magic would come out looking a little bit more appealing.

So the newest set, Magic 2011, is just on the horizon. I'm getting giddy just seeing the spoiled artwork. And I think I know why.

Everything influences you, whether you know it or not. Magic has influenced my art and my writing. It's something that's been a part of me. I'm still a fantasy nerd - it's why I'm writing a fantasy novel - and I'm still stoked about drawing swords and elves and shit. And I was wrong to have rejected it outright in my earlier years.

But we have to go through these things to learn. If you don't hit those rough patches, you're not growing any stronger, or any smarter. In Magic, we call these horror stories "bad beats." Couldn't draw the card you needed in time? Bad beats. Stuck on two lands the whole game? Bad beats.

Everyone gets bad beats. You can cry, you can complain, but at the end of the day, you just have to suck it up and keep going. Going for that next win, that next glowing success.

Magic players have a term for that, too. We call it "getting there." But you don't "get there" just once: you have to win over and over again, against better opponents, against greater odds.

Because how else are you going to improve?